Hello
The parts of myself that were dimmed. These patterns didn’t start with me, but stayed with me. Only recently have I started to see them differently. I can't change them and make them into something they are not. I just see them more clearly and in a different light.
I’ve spent most of my life adapting.
Learning what was needed, what was expected, what would keep things steady. Paying attention to what was happening around me, and adjusting so things didn’t fall apart.
It worked, in the ways it needed to.
But over time, I started to notice the cost of that. The parts of myself that were dimmed. These patterns didn’t start with me, but stayed with me.
Only recently have I started to see them differently.
I can't change them and make them into something they are not. I just see them more clearly and in a different light.
I’m writing this in pieces.
—Renee
Music that captures this feeling for me:
Mind on Fire by Aisha Badru
Desperado by the Eagles
Ages 16, 23, 35